The individual relationship – thriving in a relationship

Currently, I am in a long-distance relationship, and as in any relationship it has its struggles and upsides. Many will ask how I survive, and I believe they are asking the wrong question. If you’re merely surviving your relationships, I would encourage you to evaluate them. My belief is that in any relationship – friendly or intimate you should thrive not merely survive. This philosophy encourages the question “how do you thrive?” as opposed to “how do you survive?” So how do we as individuals that have decided to commit time and energy to each other thrive, both together and apart?

Long-distance relationships have a bad reputation, and some even don’t believe they can work. Yes, they can be a lot of hard work and do take incredibly hard work and dedication. However, I believe there are at least as many positive sides as bad sides, if not more, in this type of relationship.

When living in different places you truly learn to appreciate the time you spend together and tend to strive after new experiences to try together. Furthermore you often individually seek out new activities and hobbies, this often as a way to distract yourself from missing your partner. Seeking new experiences will not only grow you as a person but in many cases strengthen your relationship. We as a society often dream of a person ‘completing’ us, instead of someone who motivates us to complete ourselves. This is what long-distance relationships, excel at – completing ourselves while encouraging the other to seek out positive actions.

To have a successful relationship trust and communication is key, but that becomes even more prominent if that relationship is long-distance. Many relationships often are often marked by jealousy and a need for control. This type of dynamic, while often not noticed, is precedent in our society. Often times while scrolling social media I will see what aims to be relatable posts and pictures bordering on idolizing jealousy and controlling behavior. Not only is this unhealthy, but a relationship built on insecurity will not last. When going long-distance you are forced to work on trust and your communication, and this will undeniably help the relationship long term.

Being your own person first, and denying the notion that you need a person to complete you will only do good for your relationship. So, whether you’re in a long-distance relationship looking for comfort in what is a difficult journey to be on, or in a relationship where you are able to see your partner every day, remember that a relationship should be a place where you both grow together and individually without becoming co-dependent. So, seek ways to grow and develop as an individual because that will be how you grow and nurture your relationship.

17 thoughts on “The individual relationship – thriving in a relationship

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  1. Long distant relationships are so hard but I do think they make you so much stronger when you come together. Me and my boyfriend were long distant for a year but now we life together and it makes you appreciate each other so much more. Good luck with the long distance!

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  2. Long distance relationships are super hard. But I believe that making them last is maturity. I was in a long distance relationship with my husband for about a year. Eventually, he moved in with me and we have been together for 20 years now. At some point, I think someone needs to make the leap.

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  3. we have been in a long distance relationship for five years as boyfriend/girlfriend. i agree that constant communication is key. it really helps that there is available technology to help us with that. back then, we would only have calls and text messages. trust is also needed in long-term relationships, you have to trust your partner and you have to be confident in yourself and your relationship. insecurity is poison in a long-distance relationship.

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  4. I’ve been in long distance relationship once. It didn’t work for me but I guess it wouldn’t work out regardless distance. He was an asshole but you know a lot of young women fall for it. But I do have several families started like that

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  5. Long distance relationships can be very challenging. I’ve done long distance dating a couple times. Once when I dated an ex who joined the military. That was very rough with deployments and being on the other side of the world. Ultimately, he wasn’t a trustworthy person so it didn’t work out. After that, I decided I didn’t want to do long distance dating ever again. But then, a few years later, I met my (now) husband and we lived in different cities for the first several months we dated. It was a lot of travel and driving, but worth it in the end with the right person!

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  6. I absolutely love this post. I agree that long distance relationships can get a bad rep. I also believe that they can be some of the strongest relationships. Long distance relationships put you in a position in which you do have to work to make the quality time more meaningful. They push us to make communication a priority which helps strengthen the relationship. I love how you highlighted “thrive” verses “survive” as well.

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  7. It is really a hard one having a long distance relationship. I do believe that if you really love someone whether it is a long distance relationship or not as long you understand and treasure that importance or presence of each other it will work no matter what.

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  8. My relationship was a long distance one as well. I lived in Indiana and he lived in Georgia. It was really hard as I am one of those kinds of people who need physical attention, comfort, and closeness. After six months, I made the move down south and we have been together for more than nine years.

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