Independent to a fault

I strongly identify as a strong, independent female who don’t need no man (and as a lesbian don’t really want one either). Another way to describe me is; independent to a fault, and I believe others could describe themselves in similar words. In a society that praises individuality, perseverance, and never needing to rely on anyone, it is no wonder that so many of us feel lonely.

Scrolling through social media, we are struck with the illusion of perfection, and often we too want to show only the best from our own lives. In the age of social media, we share a common tendency to connect online while disconnecting in real life. Maybe it is because the pressure to be perfectly independent and successful has made it impossible for us to be brave enough to ask for help? Or maybe we have grown more afraid to show any weakness. It is important that we realize the negative aspects of this strive for perfection, it can cause a suffocating feeling of loneliness.

There is strength in asking for help, it is allowed to take a breather, it is okay not to want to do everything alone, I encourage you to sometimes allow yourself to be weak. 

“Refrain from the temptation of comparing yourself to others, allow yourself to bloom and let your perfection take whatever form it chooses.”

We preach self-care, a quick trip to Pinterest and you’ll find numerous self-care lists compiled by many individuals that have reached their own version of success. However, I have noticed one trend in these lists; most of these self-care activities are ones you do alone. I wish to encourage all to add a few other points to their own self-care routines. Be in the moment, allow yourself to show weakness, and remember that it is okay to not always be strong. Not always being strong may simply just be a different way to show strength, and there is strength in showing weakness.  Allow yourself to connect with those around you, and realize that perfection takes on many forms, and there is no one version of it.

Refrain from the temptation of comparing yourself to others, allow yourself to bloom and let your perfection in whatever form it chooses. Being a strong, independent individual doesn’t mean you have to be lonely or miserable. You can be strong and independent, however, not at the cost of your mental health.